"At work, every time I have to speak at meetings, I get so stressed." "I’m taking a class and I'm always afraid to raise my hand and ask a question." "I'm fine one to one, but as soon as I get into a group, I'm so tense I can hardly stand it." ...

Do you sometimes wonder why you feel so drained after being with some people, while you feel energized when being with others? Some people are energy vampires, and actually drain energy from you. How do they do this? What can you do to avoid this? ...

Dealing with addicted family members is always a big challenge. There are some important issues to explore when someone you love is harming themselves. ARE YOU CONTRIBUTING TO THE PROBLEM? People use various addictions to avoid their painful feelin...

"What should I do if my spouse won't go to counseling?" I often hear this from my clients. What are they really saying with this question? Generally, they are saying something like: "My unhappiness is coming from my spouse's behavior," or "The p...

Imagine that you have a little child - a son or daughter, but that you are only 15 years old. How are you going to feel about this child? There is a good possibility that you will feel that this child is a burden, limiting your freedom. You will likely f...

"I was up too late with my friend Peg last night," Abigail told me in our phone session. "She was needing to vent. Then I had a problem falling asleep, but at least I was there for her." "How often does this happen?" I asked her. "Oh, fairly often. ...

You go to church every Sunday and you say your prayers every day. Does this mean you are a spiritual person? No. You practice yoga and meditate every day. Does this mean you are a spiritual person? No. You belong to spiritual group and are dev...

"I'm angry with you." "I'm feeling really hurt by what you said to me." "I'm so disappointed in you." "I'm feeling really irritated with you." How often have you said these things to others? And how do they generally respond? Do they get defensi...

When you were a small child, your painful emotions may have felt too overwhelming to feel. If you experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, your little body was not big enough to manage the painful feelings. If you were neglected, unseen, misunder...

Do you trust your feelings and take action for yourself based on your feelings? Many of us grew up learning to mistrust our feelings. "Don't be ridiculous," my mother often said to me when I asked her why she was angry. "I'm not angry," she would say with...

Erin married Dylan because he was the first man who expressed his love for her and was really nice to her. She was not sexually turned on to him, but she figured that this would come in time. Now, 15 years later, sex is a huge problem in their relationshi...

“I cringe every time Debra says to me, ‘Let’s talk about our relationship,’” Chad told me in one of our phone sessions. “What is it about talking about your relationship that makes you cringe?” I asked. “It always seems to be about s...

The Encarta® World English Dictionary defines “abandon” as: “to leave somebody or something behind for others to look after, especially somebody or something meant to be a personal responsibility.” As adults, our own wellbeing is our personal ...

Lily and Don, both in their 40s, decided to get married after dating each other for a year. Lily’s children were in college, while Don still had children coming to his house every other weekend. They discovered early in their marriage that it was on...

Jimmy had spent many years in various kinds therapy, yet still felt numb and empty inside most of the time. He consulted with me because he hoped that the Inner Bonding process we teach would move him out of feeling so stuck. It became apparent to me s...