After getting an email from my sister Lisa this week entitled, “secret to a long life,” I’ve been wondering really, what it’s all about - for me. Then, serendipitously, I had the chance to do some action research this past weekend, which I spent in Cleveland, Ohio at my friend’s grandmother’s 93rd birthday. NINTY THREE YEARS YOUNG.
Her name is Liz and let me tell you - she's a spitfire. She can hear, she can see (after recent cataract surgery, where for the first time in 88 years, she can really see), she can mangia (eat, in Italiano), and she can contribute . . . which she does.
* So, what’s the secret? *
I asked Grandma Liz to tell me the secret to a good, long life. She chuckled a bit and then said pretty adamantly, “HARD WORK.” (Interestingly, this was the same answer she gave when I asked her the same question two years ago.)
“I walked nearly two hours to get to my work,” she said. “That was more challenging than the actual job itself.”
She was also the oldest of six children, so from a very early age, Liz had to deliver. There were no excuses. That was just the way it was.
Liz made me think about that notion of hard work.
* Is it just the way it is? How can hard work be measured? Can it be measured? *
Only I know, intrinsically, if I am working hard, when I am working hard. I know when I make excuses, when I take the easy (albeit less fulfilling) road. Think about it.
* Don’t you know when you’re working hard? *
I remember having jobs in the past where my boss thought I was giving 100%, when in fact I was giving only 50%. “Imagine what it must feel like,” I always wondered, “to really give 150%.”
Grandma Liz knew she was working hard when she was working hard. It was something she felt all these years, so much so that she’s sure it has contributed to her longevity. And I’m not suggesting working hard just pertains to school or work. Consider an A+ or bonus for building relationships and contributing positive energy. In this sense, a different kind of “effort counts.”
When I asked Liz what else was part of the secret, she sighed, and said, “LOVE.”
Again, something you feel - love is our birthright. Yes, we need it.
* How about another secret? *
Love starts from within. A PERSONAL CHOICE we all have. Learn to love yourself and love the world.
* Guess what? *
The world loves you back.
So here I am at the tail end of my weekend with Grandma Liz in Cleveland. I love that lady. She is sensible, sweet, and still real with it. I want what she has.
* A summer weekend in Cleveland at an old lady’s birthday?” you ask. *
I love doing things that I never thought I’d like doing, and then, on the flipside, finding out that doing them often reaps incredible, lasting benefits. Amazing.
Available to you too, if you’re mindset and heart are open to possibility.
Here’s to finding people that inspire you,
Louis
PS. Don’t forget next Tuesday is a FREE workshop offering some of Positive Psychology’s finest: Marty Seligman’s research on “Learned Optimism” and Karen Reivich’s on “Real-Time Resilience.” Sign up here and bring a friend: http://www.meetup.com/NYCSelf-Improvement/calendar/10522353/
PPS. Here are some more of my core truisms. What’s on your list?
-Harmony over balance.
-It feels good to feel good.
-Slow and steady wins the race.
-Ceteris Paribus...Everything in moderation.
-The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
-You can teach an old dog new tricks.
-Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
-Age is a matter of mind.
-Real friends stand the test of time.
-A watched pot doesn't boil quickly.
-It's all about possibilities.
-Too much of a good thing is never enough.
-If you got 'em, smoke 'em: It all comes even in the end.
-Someone so much a part of us is never really gone.
-PER ASPERA AD ASTRA . . . "through the thorns.. to the stars"
