Men have been fed a steady stream of propaganda by the media that ties masculinity, personal worth and many other things up in one package that’s topped off by the penultimate symbol of male virility: the ability to reproduce. It’s almost the same sort of pressure society puts on women to be skinny. Only instead of criticism over not being supermodel thin; as a guy, you’re often portrayed as being less than a man if you’re infertile. I swear that half the time people are completely confusing infertile with impotent, but it’s not fair to judge by that either.
Fortunately, my wife, family and friends are all very supportive and, aside from the odd bit of good-natured ribbing from a few of my buddies, they went out their way to ensure I didn’t feel like damaged goods.
Once you get past the initial shock, it almost becomes mechanical. Mary and I began to look into AID (Artificial Insemination of Donor Semen) and potential sperm donors. We dealt with an organization that had been around for three decades and had a process for reviewing family medical history of donors that made us feel extremely comfortable. This company also had locations central to some of the finer educational institutions in the country- UCLA, Stanford, Harvard and MIT among them- so we had a wide range of donors drawn from a very accomplished group. We were also given the option of narrowing down by other categories including religion, artistic aptitude, athleticism, skin tone and musical abilities; not all of these were important to us, but others may appreciate it.
After nine years without success, Mary was pregnant six months after I was diagnosed. We can’t wait!
About The Author:
Ken Locket and his wife spent the better part of a decade in what would prove to be a futile attempt to conceive. When they realized that time was no longer on their side, they consulted with fertility doctors who confirmed that Ken was sterile; without donor sperm, there was no possibility they would be able to have children of their own. After waiting this long, the Lockets did not want to rush into any decisions and so took the time to investigate options including artificial insemination and adoption. They decided that they wanted to experience the birth of their child, and so turned to researching sperm banks. Ken has written about his experience in several men’s health magazines.
