For over forty years, special education teachers have focused
on helping children with learning disabilities improve their
academic skills. However, it is now quite clear that a child's
life long success is more dependant upon his social adeptness than
it is to his scholastic ability. Yet, although children with
learning disabilities are often way behind their peers in their social
development, these deficits were very rarely addressed.
Children with learning disabilities tend to be less skillful in social
interactions and have difficulty creating and maintaining good peer
relationships. They tend to be less accepted by peers, interact
inappropriately, awkward in social situations, and misread social
cues. There is now a greater awareness that we must to teach special
needs children appropriate social skills.
Factors that Lead to Social Skill Deficits
Social skills involve daily interactions such as sharing, taking
turns, and allowing others to talk without interrupting. More
advanced social skills involve facets of self-control such as anger
management. Most children learn social skills by observing how others
in their environment handle social situations. These children imitate
desirable responses, such as taking turns, and learn to avoid responses
that do not work.
For some children, particularly those with learning
disabilities, a more direct approach is needed to help them develop
appropriate social skills.
Not all children with learning disabilities have difficulty with social
skills. There are three factors that often lead to social skill deficits.
These factors are more common in special needs children.
These are:
1-Cognitive deficits: Children with language processing disorders or
low intelligence tend to have difficulty with social development.
2-Severe or complex learning disorders.
3-Hyperactivity Children with ADHD or poor impulse control tend to
have more pronounced social skill problems.
Also, girls are more likely to experience social adjustment
problems than are boys.
What You Can Do: The Social Autopsy
It is vital that you as a parent takes steps to help your child develop
the social skills that he needs to succeed in life. This is not
particularly hard to do, but it must be done.
One of the easiest techniques developed to help children learn to improve
their social ability is called the social autopsy. This is a strategy
in which you assist your child to improve his social skills by jointly
analyzing social errors that your child makes and by planning alternative
strategies. This process is particularly effective in helping your child
to see the cause-effect relationship between his social behavior and the
reactions of others.
This is what you do:
1-After your child makes a social error you should discuss with your child
what happened.
2-Your goal is to teach your child to:
A-Identify the error
B-Determine who was harmed by the error
C-Decide how to correct the error
D-Develop an alternate plan to prevent the error from occurring again.
Remember, a social skills autopsy is not a punishment.
It is a supportive and constructive problem-solving strategy.
The Social Autopsy in Action
For example, if your child has a friend over and they fight over a toy
and the friend goes home upset, then this is what you can do:
1-Identify the error: fighting over a toy.
2-Determine who was harmed by the error: your child's friend
was hurt because he left upset, but also your child was hurt because now
his friend won't want to play with him.
3-Decide how to correct the error:
Your child should contact the other child and try to make friends
again. You might suggest giving the other child a treat to
help smooth over hurt feelings.
4-Develop an alternate plan to prevent the error from occurring again:
What should your child do next time? He can choose to share the toy.
If he would rather not share, he can choose to not play with the toy when
his friend is there.
When to Use the Social Autopsy
You can use the social autopsy to analyze and improve upon your child's
mistakes. However, you also can use it to emphasis your child's successes.
When your child does particularly well in a social setting, you
can assist him in examining and identifying the behaviors that contributed
to his success. This teaches him to repeat those behaviors in other settings.
Why the Social Autopsy Works
The advantage of using the social autopsy technique is that it focuses on the
three things that special needs children require in order to develop and learn:
1-Repetitive practice
2-Immediate feedback
3-Positive reinforcement
Some Things to Remember
When you apply the social autopsy approach with your child, it is important
to remember a number of things:
1-The social autopsy is meant to be a supportive and constructive strategy
to foster social competence. It is not meant to be or administered as a punishment.
2-The social autopsy is a problem-solving technique. It should not
be a negative experience for your child.
3-The social autopsy is an opportunity for your child to actively
participate in the process of his own social development. It requires his
input and understanding. It should be directed by you but not in a
controlling manner.
4-The social autopsy can be conducted by any significant adult
in the child's life. You should try to have other adults in your child's life
participate in this process.
5-The social autopsy is most effective when conducted immediately
after the social error or success. Remember that all children learn best
when they have immediate feedback.
6-The social autopsy should be done on a one-to-one basis. This
is the most effective way children learn and will help avoid embarrassment
for your child.
Conclusion
If you have a child with, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, learning disabilities,
or cognitive or functional problems, you have to take special care to make
sure that he is developing socially as well as academically. The social
autopsy is one technique that you can use to teach you child better social skills.
Anthony Kane, MD
ADD ADHD Advances
http://addadhdadvances.com
About The Author:
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician and lecturer. Get help with Oppositional Defiant Disorder child behavior (http://addadhdadvances.com/bbart.html), ADHD treatment (http://addadhdadvances.com/cylart.html) and information (http://addadhdadvances.com)
