I always ask new clients to complete a short profile before we start our coaching sessions. One of the questions is "what consumes time or energy that you wish to eliminate?" Invariably people mention worry.
Often what they're worrying about isn't life or death situations. But even small worries nag away at us, taking up valuable head space which we could put to use more productively elsewhere.
I consider myself a classic case in point. On returning to China after a long summer break in England, I resolved anew to do something about the pitiful state of my spoken Chinese. I found a language school close to my flat and saw that they were offering a 2 hour class over lunch times, Monday to Friday. Well, I thought, that could be perfect. I can still work most of the morning, and the afternoons are clear to spend time with my 3 year old, Elsa.
But I couldn't quite bring myself to pick up the phone and book. Ten hours a week was a lot. Would my business suffer? Would I have any spare energy for the Chinese homework? What if I got hopelessly behind my classmates and plunged into an even greater pit of despair about my linguistic non-ability? I fretted and dithered for nearly 4 weeks, during which time I added new worries to my list. What if the class had already started? Would I ever catch up?
Finally I couldn't bear listening to myself any longer. I called the school. "Oh," said the nice lady who answered, "I'm sorry, we aren't running that class at the moment."
HOW foolish did I feel? A 30 second phone call revealed all my worries had been for nothing.
I tell this story to illustrate a very important principle: ALWAYS GET THE FACTS!!
It's common sense I know, but we often forget to apply it. Dale Carnegie wrote about the importance of getting the facts over 50 years ago in his classic book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living". He advised following 3 simple rules to solve all worry problems:
1. Get the facts
2. Analyse the facts
3. Arrive at a decision - and act on it.
I think it's excellent advice, but of course though it sounds so simple, it's not always easy. Carnegie shares a quote from Thomas Edison on this point that makes me smile: "there is no expedient to which man will not resort to avoid the labour of thinking." I like to believe Edison was reflecting on personal experience; it's cheering to think that even the great have their off days.
Are you worrying about anything at the moment? What facts are you missing? Try applying the 3 step rule and prove Edison wrong!
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Sarah Cooper is a career coach who specialises in working with people who want to follow their passions, express their creativity or help people or society in some way. Sarah worked as a solicitor, then as a marketing manager in the voluntary sector before defining her own ideal work. Kick start your new life by signing up to Sarah's FREE mini e-course 5 Keys to Finding Freedom By Doing What You Love at http://www.cowsfrommywindow.com
