Of course, the mistress chooses the role of mistress and presumably, spending Christmas Day alone, knowing that the man she loves is spending a ‘perfect’ present-giving day with his wife or is relaxing with his family on the ski slopes Chamonix , is the price she must pay.
But there are always two sides to every story and many reasons as to why any mistress finds herself in a relationship with a married man. A mistress will constantly trade loneliness and pain for the joy and ecstasy, but ultimately, the need to love and be loved can be overpowering.
So for every mistress who is beginning to dread the build up to the Christmas season, wondering how you will survive it and knowing that you can’t ask too many awkward questions about how he will be spending his time, we hope to be able to offer a few pointers in ways to emerge from this festive period with your sanity intact!
• Make a Plan: Don’t just wake up and wonder how on earth you are going to fill your day. Organise yourself in good time, call up people and find out where the parties are taking place, buy a stunning party dress and go with an open mind. Or find out what events are happening in your local area, the theatre or a murder mystery weekend.
• Friends: If they’re good friends, they won’t want you to be on your own at Christmas and they might worry if you cut yourself off entirely. Resist the urge to wallow under the duvet with a packet of Kleenex waiting for a call or text message that is unlikely to come. Instead, be with people who really care about you, whether it’s family or close friends. Go somewhere, warm and inviting, play with the kids, eat too much and laugh at the silly TV reruns. You may even enjoy it and remember, it's only one day.
• Have a Hedonistic Pampering Day. Start the day with a long relaxing bath, surrounding yourself with gorgeous smells by adding a few drops of bergamot oil to water in an oil burner. Its light, fruity scent can gently lift melancholy. Give yourself a manicure and pedicure with expensive nail varnishes. Luxuriate in your own guilt-free company and looking great will boost your delicate self-esteem.
• Have a Film Fest: Make a list of all the films you would have liked to see, but never quite got around to. Old black and white musicals are great, so too the silly kids movies like Shrek, Over The Hedge, The Incredibles or Toy Story. Or pick a TV series and get the DVD box set, for hours of uninterrupted enjoyment.
• Turn the music up loud and Dance Like No One’s Watching. In fact, do everything like no one’s watching you. Lounge around in comfy old PJs, or dance wild and crazy in nothing but a warm pair of socks!
• Unlock your inner chef. Buy in some exotic ingredients a day or two beforehand and let your imagination run wild in the kitchen. Make a mess, lick the bowl and experiment. But don’t forget to have a stand-by just in case things don’t go entirely to plan!
• Make a list of all the things you would like to achieve in the coming year. Look into joining a swimming club, theatre club, wine tasting club! Are there places in the world you would particularly like to see, a language you would like to learn, a book inside you waiting to be written? Spring clean and re-organise over-flowing cupboards. Acknowledge your personal value, your accomplishments, and the friends and family you love and who love you in return. Keep your mind busy.
• Find out who else may be spending the time on their own and hold your own party. Invite the neighbours or colleagues from work and stick a big bird in the oven for all. Alternatively, have a ring around on the day and wish fellow singletons a merry Christmas. Not only will these people welcome a friendly and caring voice, but you will benefit from reaching out to others.
• Get away from it all. Book a holiday to a far off destination or somewhere that doesn’t traditionally celebrate Christmas - Morocco, Tunisia or the Far East. Travel with a company that specialises in independent solo holidays and go skiing with a readymade group of likeminded individuals to ski with in the day and socialise with in the evening. Or be truly adventurous - explore India’s tropical south, Nepal, the Serengeti or South America.
Make your Christmas as fun as it can be. But remember Mistress… don’t let your lover make you feel miserable at this festive time. Don’t drown your sorrows in the vodka bottle or in an orgy of retail therapy and don’t ring or text him late at night after too many mulled wines or pay him an unexpected visit! . And finally, Christmas alone can be a harsh wake-up call for the mistress or ‘other’ woman, so promise yourself that next year you will not be sitting home alone, pining for a man who is happily ensconced in the warm bosom of his family and blissfully unaware of your sad Bridget Jones Christmas.
