How To Get What You Want From Your Man!
05th September 2008
Some years ago I watched Oprah as she interviewed a guy who wrote a book that would once and for all explain to women how to be in order for their man/partner to love her forever...I have to admit, I logged in to Amazon and got the book. Why wouldn't you want to miss out on such valuable information?
Needless to say I was terribly disappointed. The US$49 (plus shipping) bottom line was to stop waiting for miracles to happen. Get on with the programme: Men are relational impaired, they can't do it, so don't ask of them to be understanding, affectionate, remembering birthdays, and (BEWARE!) ask you how you are feeling. It ain't gonna happen.
I thought that was an incredibly insulting piece of gobbledigook. Men can be amazingly capable communicators. You can see it in all walks of life. Once they realise the importance of a connection, be it in business, academia, or politics, their stars have shown as bright as anything.
It appears to me that it is important to
• convey early in the relationship that both parties have to realise the significance of the relationship and agree to mutually attend to its well-being.
• start a habit - and maintain it - of sharing each other's day without judgements
• cultivate some mutual interests
• spend time together having fun
• surprise each other
• brush up on communication skills
• give each other the space to do something alone.
People say 'old habits die hard'. Of course, that goes also for good habits. So start establishing them early and you will never look back.
Occupation: Psychotherapist, Coach, Researcher, Trainer
Dr. Gudrun Frerichs is a psychotherapist, trainer, and researcher who helps people to grow strong and fulfil their potential and their dreams. Gudrun offers a wide range of programs and services – from individual consultations, to self-development courses and seminars both online and face to face. Gudrun specializes in assisting survivors of sexual abuse to overcome the effects of sexual abuse and achieve recovery.
Gudrun is no stranger to mental health and in particular sexual abuse. She worked for 20 years in the field of abuse and trauma recovery. Her research projects investigated the recovery processes from sexual abuse and explored in depth the recovery of persons with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), formerly known as multiple personality disorder. These projects were finished in 2000 and 2008 and have since been published on her Multiple Voices Blog and on her Sexual Abuse Help Blog.
"My passion has always been to understand people. I am keen to understand why they do what they do and how they reveal their inner world through the way they communicate and connect with others. My latest research interest involves the structure of happiness and follows the principles of positive psychology. Positive Psychology encourage people to build on their strength and create happiness and well-being through intentionally focusing on the positive aspects of life without ignoring to deal with the painful experiences.
I have completed my PhD research in Mental Health & Environmental Sciences, I hold a Diploma in Psychotherapy, a Certificate in Supervision, a Master Practitioner Certificate in Neuro-Linguistic-Programming (NLP), and a Business Diploma.
If you want to know more about me, or about my courses for personal or professional development visit my website Psychological Resolutions. There you will find FREE courses for successful relationships, for how to accelerate the recovery from sexual abuse, for developing a positive outlook and building happiness, and for gaining deep self-understanding.
