1. Don't reassure
Do you frequently find yourself saying things like "I'll change! I promise!" or "It'll be ok!" Do you honestly believe that these words are actually going to change your spouse's mind? If you say that you're going to change, but haven't, do you think they'll believe you even if it's what they want to hear? Your intent may be entirely wholesome and sincere, but if you are at the stage where divorce is a very real possibility, you need to understand that actions speak much louder than words. Clichés sound weak when your spouse is looking for might. So resist the urge to say something like the above statements or make promises. As a substitute, just do the things that you want to say you'll do.
2. Evade emotional blackmail
This may just seem rational, but many couples pander to trying to make the other person feel bad by influencing feelings in anticipation that it will upset them out of their mind-set or just out of paltry revenge. If you want to save your marriage, you have to separate yourself from emotional battles. Probing at your spouse's emotions defiantly gets a response but they are usually bitter that you would use these tactics and will end up pushing you away. One thing you should do is to not say "I love you", these are extremely powerful words, but when both you and your partner's emotions are torn, it can be misunderstood. These words are better left for a time when things can be restored and can be said with a clear head and heart.
3. Don't bicker
This is the big one; the one that most people have serious problems with. Fights are very common when divorce is on the horizon. The need to defend yourself when verbally attacked while you are irritated and distressed is very high. Yelling and launching counter attacks is not going to save your marriage. Even if you think you are right or your partner is horribly misinformed about something, arguing leads to more arguing and builds walls between couples that eventually become too overwhelming and divorce is certain. The answer to this is simple, but can be very painful for a while; Do Not Argue! Don't talk back, don't try to fix things and do not raise hostility levels. You may be thinking, how do you fix a problem without fixing it? By stopping the never-ending cycle of arguments and lowering hostility levels. If you don't defend yourself, you'll find that your partner will not attack you. The bottom line is this; If you feel like you have to win, your spouse will feel like they can't lose and it will only end in divorce. Put your ego away and let love come back into your relationship.
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